Hand Picked

Song suggestion:   Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce

 

    Look it up anywhere.  Google it.  Read a few books, research it or talk to a counselor.  No matter what you do, you will never find the 'right' answer.    How long does one wait to date after losing a spouse?  There are plenty of suggestions.  People are willing to give their opinions because lets be honest here.. we all really like to give our opinions.  I personally love to give my opinion.  I believe it's a sickness.. loving to give my opinion I mean, but now that were on the subject, I think it's whenever it feels right.  

    My coworker who is my age lost her father a few years before I lost mine.  I think it was a God thing, I got to watch her journey before I even knew of the one that awaited me and my family.  I watched her deal with her Dad's death, I watched her learn to move on and regain a sense of normalcy.  I soaked it in very carefully when she told me her Mom was dating again.  I knew that this may be a possibility and I needed to be ready to deal with this when and if it comes down my path.  I came to the realization about a year ago that I am OK with the idea of my Mom dating. But this man can not be just any regular man.  He has to be something special.    

     I have prayed for my mom to be able to find happiness for a long time.  At first I was not specific in my definition of 'happiness' as I prayed.  I mean.. I am talking to God.  I know that God wants us to be specific in our prayers at times.. but I don't think it's always necessary. Sometimes it's dangerous because it's very easy to get caught up in what we think will make everything better, however.. if happiness meant finding a new best friend, a new love I prayed that God.. and Dad would hand pick this one for Mom.

   People,  tonight I am again so totally aware of God's impeccable timing.  I am so peacefully aware of the mysterious yet specific way He works.   I look back on the nights I would lay in bed next to my husband and all I could think about was the fact that my Mom is laying in bed with out hers. I just wanted her to be happy.  Whatever that would entail.   Tonight I had a late dinner with a Mom who could not stop smiling.   I chatted with a Mom who is incredibly happy. Tonight I sat and listened to a woman who is dipping her toes into the waters of a new journey and loving every second of it.   I watched her as she could barely cover up a smile where only months before it was the total opposite.    

  If I could say one thing to this lovely person that is putting such an authentic smile on my Mom's face.. which I am sure one day I will, It would be that I have prayed for you before there was a 'you', and now that there is a you, I know that there is a God who does answer prayers very specifically.     

Renee