What would you rather be?

Song Suggestion:  Batman Soundtrack 

  I am busy in the kitchen making dinner.  I have pots and pans piled high in the sink, there are three different dishes cooking at once and they all must be tended to, so as not not fry the living crap out of them, when my son Cole walks in the kitchen.  He leans himself against the counter on the opposite side of wear I am standing.  

  "Mom, what would you rather be, a seagull or a penguin?"  he asks.

  I know the answer right away..  "Duh, a seagull."  

  "Why?"  He asks.

  "Have you seen that documentary on a penguins life?!!"    "Good lord I would rather be a turd."   I answer

  No offense to this magnificent bird,  but man! Have you seen what they have to do to procreate?  NO THANK YOU.  I love my children.. but geesh I am not sure I would do what those creatures have to do just to have offspring.  If you haven't seen March of the Penguins.  Go out and get it.. you will understand.

   Anyway Cole laughs.. and then asks me..   "So then.. which would you rather be a turd sandwich or a snotty Kleenex?"  

"Hmm that's a tough one..."  I pretend to ponder on this for awhile, then answer,  "Most definitely a turd sandwich."

  This is when he gets hysterical.   "WHAT, WHY?!"  he asks.

"I can handle turds.. but snotty boogers make me gag."  I reply.

 Now I turn the tables on him to get away from the turds and boogers talk... "What would you rather be, Superman or Batman?"

  "Superman hands down!"  He says.  "Superman has powers.. Batman doesn't he is just a really, really strong dude who wears a mask and armor."  

 

  "Yea, but in the movies it always seems like Batman gets all the pretty ladies."  I tell Cole.

He pauses for a second, then this mischievous little grin spreads across his face.. the one I saw when he was a baby and knew he was going to be trouble.  The one I see now.. and know he's gonna be trouble.

 

 "Did I say Superman??  I meant Batman."  he says.      Then he gives me a high-five.