CORA

Song Suggestion:  Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

 When I was little I had this obsession with my older sister Cora.  She was so smart.  She always had her head in some really thick book.  I would watch her face while she read, she would wear these glasses that made her look even smarter.  I wasn't blessed with the luxury of having to wear glasses.  Little sisters always get the shaft.

  She could act also.  I used to spy on her in her room.  I would watch her through the nail hole in the wall at our house in Ahuas.  She would look in the mirror and do very dramatic things.  I thought it was so cool.  I could never make out what she was saying but it looked very intense.  I would go to my room and stand in front of my mirror and try to mimic her.  It was never as much fun doing it myself... so I would go back and peek at her through the nail hole.  

   She got boobs before me.  I remember asking her what having boobs felt like.  She called me a pervert and rolled her eyes.  I just stole one of her bras and stuffed it.  I looked funny with boobs.  Cora had nice boobs.. my stuffed boobs sucked.  She had very pretty hips to.  Bitch.  

    Cora's diary ROCKED.  I remember when I found out via-diary that Norman kissed her and tried to grab her boob.  I was so jealous.  Norman was mine.  He was 10 years older then me.. but who cares he was mine.   She was so intense in her diary.  I started my own, but all I wrote about was reading Cora's diary.  Pointless.  So I just went back to reading hers.  

   When Cora went to the United States to live with Grandma and Grandpa in Iowa, I felt betrayed.  I cried for a whole day.  I missed her so much it made me sick.  We really weren't that close yet.. but who would I obsess over.  Who would be there to protect me from.. oooh la la Norman.. when he tried to kiss me and grab my boob?!  

    Cora, Caleb and I had to go live with my Dad's parents, Grandma Ginny and Grandpa Paul in Grand Rapids while my little brother, Michael's, adoption was being finalized.  My parents stayed in Honduras while we kids, flew to the United Sates to live with Grandma and Grandpa..   Grandma and Grandpa were NOT fun to live with.  They were very strict.  Grandma made us sit on the floor of their brand new van after we got done swimming because we would ruin their leather seats. Cora flicked Grandma off with her middle toe while we all hid in the back seat and giggled. Cora yelled at Grandpa for me to,  he harassed me so much as I ate my ice cream sundae one night that I spilled it all over.  What she did for me was heroic... I cried and she fumed... at Grandpa.   Take that old man.  

   When Cora was in high school I stole all her clothes.  I wore them and always stained them. Dad and Mom put a padlock on her door, but I just unscrewed the screws and got in that way. She had this perfume called True Love... that Ryan Marincovich gave her.  I wanted to be someones True Love.. so I used half the bottle.  That's also when I found out that Cora still kept a diary.  JACK POT.  I read that to.

   Cora told me that I was her vivacious blond sister who was very strong.  She made me feel like super women.  In her speech at my wedding she reminded me of the time I asked her if she ever got jealous of me... then told me she did.  I watch her speech at least fifty times the week after I got married and cried each time.  I didn't ever realize how much I needed to hear her say those things.  I promised myself that at her wedding I would do the same for her.

   I took Cora to the Hair Clinic when she was home visiting so I could do her hair.  I had just learned to do body waxing and she graciously volunteered to get her nostrils waxed.  I dribbled wax all over her nose and we laughed so hard I wet my pants.   She helped me wipe up my puddle on the floor as we laughed hysterically and got the hell out of dodge.  

   Cora told me it was OK  to turn up the music in my Explorer, roll down the windows and smoke a cigarette while I sat on Dad's gravestone.  She said Dad would love it.  I couldn't smoke the cigarette.  But I did do the rest. It was very nice.  

    Cora taught me that being me is good enough.  That I don't have to be a hero to be a hero. She told me about Moses and all the amazing things he did... how he lead his people to the promise land but was never actually allowed to enter.  She said that we can do great things without getting a reward.  Whether it be a big or small thing we do.  That the reward is just doing that great thing.  

      It's Cora's birthday today.  What do you say to the woman who has helped shape you into the woman you are today?  

 

      I guess.. thank you and I love you.