I'll take a bottle of organization.. and throw in some willpower to.

  Last night I woke up at 3 a.m. and my mind was buzzing with things I needed to do.  Things that I should have of done two days ago, that I keep sweeping under the rug.  Laundry.. cleaning.. buy some fish food... Cole needs new snow pants because the $40.00 pair you just bought him (with the brand name saying 'Blizzard Proof")  are highly absorbent.   Pay the bills, balance the checkbook..   OK so you get the point.   

   I felt my heart start to beat a little faster... and the muscles in my shoulders tighten.  I thought.. in my haze, that I might as well just get up, make a list, and start checking it off as I go.  I figured by the time the kids and Justin get up.. I will have all my tasks completed. Drink a pot of coffee and jitter my way through the rest of the day.  So I sat up, crawled out of bed and made my way down stairs to the kitchen.  I stood there for a minute in the quiet, dark room and just listened to the house breath.  I wished my mind could be as peaceful as it was.  

  

  Next I wandered into the bathroom and flipped on the lights... ooh bright.. ewe look at me.  I shut the overhead light off and kept the one in the shower on.  I looked tired and kind of old.  It surprised me.. not the tired part, but the old part.  

"Geesh, that happened fast. "  I thought.

 

  Realizing that I would not be accomplishing anything at three in the morning, and the fact that by the time work rolled around that afternoon I would be a hot mess... I crawled back in bed.. and lay there for an hour.. angry with myself for how unorganized I have been lately. Wondering what it would be like if you could just run to the pharmacy and pick up a prescription for any 'issue's' we had.  A quick fix.  Wouldn't it be great?

 "I'll take a bottle of organization... throw in some willpower to.  Oh and what can you do about looking old?   Can I have that in a capsule?"

  I smile at the thought of me at the Dutch Mill Pharmacy, all disheveled, asking Patrick the pharmacist to fix my life.  I imagine the facial expression he gives me.  

"Put it in a capsule so I don't have to taste it please... just fix it quick."

 This is when I laugh out loud.. and Justin stirs.  I quickly throw my head in the pillow.  And finish giggling and he begins to snore softly again.  

  I am not sure what I was really laughing about.  The actual scenario itself playing out in my fuzzy mind or  the fact that I was thinking about all this at... by that time it was around 3:45 in the morning.   But I was grateful for the for the late night chuckle.  It took the edge off.  Eventually my eyes got heavy and I drifted off to sleep.    

  The picture?  I found it and loved it.  It portrayed my exact feelings the moment I woke up last night.  Though I didn't grab a glass of wine and suck down a cigarette.   I wanted to.